I Hate the Sun

I’m not talking about any brand, newspaper, or person, this is about the legitimate sun. That big ball of gas in the sky that loves to piss me off. I have the same feeling about the ocean and mushrooms: I fucking hate the sun.

Here’s why:

  • It’s always so bright and right in your eyes
  • It’s hot (I hate the heat)
  • It’s gonna explode one day and kill us all – ticking bomb
  • Overall: Annoying as fuck
  • World revolves around it, so self-centered
  • We don’t know a lot about it

I hate when it’s sunny, I hate when it’s clear skies and all there is is that big bitch just beating down on your head. All of my friends love to lay in the sun during the summer, they’d say “look at her! So beautiful!” I’m in the exact opposite boat – fuck the sun. Sure, it’s great for plants, I know it does good, and we wouldn’t exist without it. It’s nice to see at the rise and set but other than that, nah bruh.

When you ask me what a good day looks like, it’s cloudy and cold. Even now, in Chicago, it’s a little warm and it finally got cloudy a few hours ago but right now, there is a beam of sunlight that’s reflecting off my kitchen floor and right into my face. It knows I’m talking shit.

Everyone says it would be so shitty to live in Alaska when it gets dark for 20-somethin hours a day but I think I’d thrive in that. Give me clouds over that big, yellow, bitch any day.


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Featured Image: NASA

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