I know a movie that’s intended for children in kindergarten shouldn’t get a rise out of me, but I can’t help it. This is not my Buzz Lightyear! The movie industry has been known for these awful cash grabs in recent years, but this has gone too far. I’m not someone who typically complains about Hollywood doing nothing but sequels and remakes these days. As long as the movie is good, I don’t care if it’s an original thought or not. You could make the argument that the Toy Story franchise already overdid it with Toy Story 4. I mean the story ended perfectly with Andy going away to college in Toy Story 3. I personally didn’t mind Toy Story 4 as much as others because I was a big fan of Forky, but the ending sucked and it was a huge step down from the first 3 movies. Now they are trying to shove this trash down our throats with this futuristic Buzz who is voiced by CHRIS EVANS???!! No, no, no, no, no! The voice of Buzz Lightyear is the one and only Tim Allen of Home Improvement and The Santa Clause fame.
Disney and Pixar should be ashamed of themselves. My guess is they wrote this movie, asked Tim Allen to join, he said, “Pound Sand because we already made too many of these”, and they were already in too deep so had to go with a new voice. If they casted Chris Evans originally without even asking Tim Allen, then they are idiots. Nothing against Evans, but you just don’t replace a legend like that for no reason. Either way this movie should never have seen the light of day because the plot is stupid too. Who cares about the backstory of Buzz Lightyear? You want to know why no one cares about Buzz’s backstory? Let my buddy Woody (who if anyone deserves their own standalone movie, it’s him, but that’s neither here nor there) explain it to you:
Why do we need a full feature film about the backstory of a toy? Do we need to see G.I. Joe go through boot camp? Do we need to see Barbie suddenly “develop” over a summer and suddenly become the most popular girl in school? Yes, I realize both these movies already exist or are in production, but the point still stands. We don’t need these movies because toys don’t need movies describing their backstories. The whole point of toys is for children to use their imagination to create stories themselves. Once again, I know I shouldn’t be this fired up about a movie that I will definitely never see, but I see the commercial for it every 2 seconds and it’s pissing me off. Do yourself a favor and don’t go waste your money on this trash movie. Instead, I will be wasting my money on another cartoon franchise that may have gone too far this summer.
I don’t care that there’s like a billion of these movies now. The Minions always play and this one has young Gru so I will definitely be checking this out and getting all the usual laughs from Kevin, Stuart, Bob, and the rest of the gang.
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