What a Miserable Day To Be a Cubs Fan

The deals are done and we are all dead inside. Cubs fans not only said goodbye to Anthony Rizzo yesterday but today we got punted in the junk with other trades that sting like a biiiiiiitch.

First, Craig Kimbrel goes to the WHITE SOX of all fuckin teams. I like Craig so that absolutely blows. (My best friend is also a Sox fan so thanks guys, I’m gonna have to listen to that at the bar all night.)

Then, we got Javier Baez shipping out to the fuckin Mets. Guillotine me. Dull blade and all.

And last but not least, our golden boy Kris Bryant gets sent to the Giants and a video drops of the moment it went down with him in the Cubs dug out. Just take me out back like Old Yeller.

Within 24 hours, the Cubs have lost three of the players that gave us the World Series title and a pitcher that was loved here. It hurts. I hate trades, they always make me sad and this was just a plethora of heartbreak. All the players I have known and loved through my teen years are gone. I have Willson Contreras and Jason Heyward. That’s about it. And every time I think it’s finally over, it just gets worse.

Maybe this is the reason I hate summer. In the summer all of my favorite players get shipped to teams I either hate or don’t care about and then I have to walk outside and it’s miserable out. All of that suffering in synonymous in my mind with misery and heartbreak. Fuck summer.

To add salt to the wound:

Pick any other city just not that one. I’m going to crack a beer and cry to Billie Eilish’s new album now. Goodbye. Ricketts can still eat my left ass cheek.

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