First off thank you for the happy birthday wishes you are inevitably showering me with now. Totally didn’t intend to do that (wink wink). With that being said, fuck I’m old. I’ve always been a big believer that your birthday doesn’t really mean shit and you are simply a day older than you were yesterday. However, the big 3-0 has crept on me this year and when I look back at the last year or so I realized I may have lost a step. Let’s take a trip down memory lane, shall we.
- 9 months ago I had shoulder surgery… for the second time
- I got fat – After being relatively skinny my entire life and being able to eat anything I wanted, my metabolism finally caught up with me. Following the above mentioned surgery, my physical abilities were severely limited and I proceeded to put on about 25 lbs… not great
- I fell asleep on Sunday of the Masters this year
- The first time we went out to the bars after they opened post Covid, I thought every other patron in the bar was 16 years old
- My bachelor party was about a week and a half ago and I am still recovering
- I played rec league sand volleyball last week and almost blew my knee out in about 10 minutes of playing time
- I went to a golf outing for work yesterday and I forgot my shoes at home so I had to buy a brand new $130 pair despite checking to make sure I had everything packed 3 times before I left the house
These are just the examples I could think of off the top of my head and there are several senior moments in there. I’m sure there’s more, but I probably forgot them because I have the memory of a goldfish now. It’s a real bummer admitting you’re past your prime, but here we are. So there you have it folks. I’m officially old now and there’s no turning back. Now excuse me because the Mrs. has a reservation for me and her at Dave & Busters for my birthday party I need to get to. Those moles ain’t gonna whack themselves.
Featured image via Dreamstime
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