Blackhawks Throw Quite A Curveball At Us For 9PM On A Monday Night

Just yesterday I said “huh this has been a weird weekend for Blackhawks fans.” AND IT GOT WORSE (better?)

So I’ve had on Patrick Kane’s Twitter notifications for years and he doesn’t tweet often. He’ll throw a retweet or something here or there but not more than that. So imagine my genuine confusion when out of the blue, he drops this tweet at 9PM.

Alright, curveball there but maybe he’s trying to get with the times and be active on Twitter? Maybe some intern had to just throw out the tweet to get the buzz going for the game tomorrow? NBD right?

Nope. Not at all. We were all fooled and it was the most unnecessary piece of content I’ve ever been presented but dear god how have I ever lived without it.

That’s right 59 minutes of Kaner “counting” to 1,000 with intervals of him giving some inspirational quotes and even a little song. (Please skip to 49:40, it’s the only part you’ll need to see. I promise you.) I had to listen to it on 2x speed because I’m impatient but let me tell you that it was even better that way. I was a little let down that it’s just him counting to 100 and then the same clip of him saying 100, 200, 300, and so on. BIG shoutout to whatever poor soul had to edit this and make sure they didn’t fuck up the numbers.

Regardless, I don’t know who pitched the idea or how they got a 32 year old man who makes $10.5 million dollars a year to do it but I’m glad they did. They’ll have to get Captain Jonathan Toews to count to 1,000 in French for his 1,000th game. No more expensive gifts and highlight reels, only ominous tweets and ASMR videos.

(If I say “hello friend😀” for the next six months we know what started it.)

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Featured Image: Screenshot from the video above

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