#BellLetsTalk

(That photo was very accurate so it needed to be the header.)

This day came up kinda conveniently this year. I’ve been back and forth on writing this for the past few hours. I don’t like posting sad shit on Ham Sports too much, I wanna make people laugh here. But I’ve dedicated the last two and a half years to this blog and y’all deserve the honesty.

I haven’t been feeling like my normal self lately. Usually I’m someone who can barely sit at home, I’m always doing something but since Monday, I’ve had a hard time leaving bed. This isn’t the first time I’ve felt like this but it is the longest I’ve gone where I just haven’t had any motivation to do almost anything. The usual things I love to do: blog, watch hockey, go on drives — that’s all felt extremely tiring to even think about doing. For example, watching hockey has felt too exhausting and if you know anything about me then you know that if there’s 14 games on, I’m watching all 14. But over the last 4 (?) days, I’ve probably watched 3 games total.

I’ll usually try my best to write at least one blog per hockey game (or the ones I really care about) and right now I just don’t have it in me. (I’ll always keep the streak going, you’d have to physically knock me out for me to give up on that.) Going from 6-9 blogs a day to barely have the motivation for 1 or 2 sucks the most because I absolutely love blogging. You get a kinda “blogging high” when you write so many and they’re popping off, it’s the fucking best. Well thinking of writing 8 blogs right now makes me feel like my brain would melt. But if I tried writing a blog at 8AM this morning, like I usually do, I think my brain would have been pure Dial-Up Tone and half thoughts. Even writing this, I feel better but I’m gonna need to stare at the ceiling for a bit.

So bottom line I’m not really okay right now but the truth is – that’s okay. Nobody can go, go, go 24/7. Even if you don’t feel like you’re doing a lot but you’re still exhausted by what you do everyday, it’s okay to need a fuckin’ break. The world, especially the last month, has thrown a lot at us and add into that we’re still dealing with a pandemic, everyday is overwhelming. It’s okay to need a break, it’s okay to need help, and it’s okay to be honest about it. There’s no shame in needing help.

So take a breather, get yourself right. Take your time because that’s all you’ve got. The one person you live with all your life is yourself so take care of you. Sure, I feel like shit right now but tomorrow will hopefully be better and not being certain about that is okay. I don’t like to get serious here often but it felt important. So I will leave you with well wishes and videos of adorable raccoons.