It’s Been 10 Years Since “Telephone” and I’m Still Waiting For A Sequel

This morning I went through some throwback songs and came across this absolute banger from 10 years ago. There is no way you can listen to “Telephone” by Lady Gaga (ft Beyoncé) and not sing every single word. It’s a perfect “fuck you” song to start your day. So I headed over to YouTube and rewatched the music video (above) and realized a few things here:

  1. This has to have been a pillar to the “questioning era” of my life, this video might have flipped the final switch.

2. We never got a sequel to this masterpiece.

Let’s back track a sec-

As we all know, “Telephone” is the sequel to “Paparazzi”, another Lady Gaga song. In “Paparazzi”, Gaga’s lover (which is Alexander fuckin Skarsgard????) throws her off a balcony and the paps swarm her to take pictures but no one stops to help her. A mangled Gaga returns home from the hospital, to find that her lover has been (possibly) sleeping around. Numerous maids and staff turn up dead –poisoned! Gaga seems to perfect her poison and she kills her treasonous lover (Alex fuckin Skarsgard). She calls the cops on herself, they take Gaga to jail and that’s where Telephone begins.

In “Telephone”, Gaga is bailed out of jail by Beyoncé – after some scandalous dance scenes and cigarette glasses – and the two go to a Diner in the middle of nowhere. Beyoncé kills her boo, then they end up poisoning everyone in the restaurant before dancing some more and hitting the road – for good this time (allegedly).

At the end as Beyoncé and Gaga drive off in the Pussy Wagon, supposedly far far away from the crimes of their past. Then we get a “To Be Continued…” screen–

Well it’s 10 years later and there is still no continuation!

Jonas Akerlund, who directed and co-wrote the video, talked with The Star in March about the music video and he said the continuation had been talked about.

Not really, not really – (pause) yeah, we have actually. I don’t remember what song it was – we started to write it, but then we ended up doing something else.

Jonas Akerlund (March 2020)

SON OF A BITCH! We were almost to a sweet, sweet continuation and that got taken from us. 😦 Gaga and Beyoncé were a feminist power duo together, at least in my 10 year old memory. Even if the next one were Gaga versus Beyoncé – two partners turned enemies – that would be exactly what we need as we careen towards doom.

It’s been 10 long years, I would very much like another video of brutal murder and immaculate costumes, please.

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