Quidditch Was Pretty Damn Dangerous

As I’m slogging through quarantine, trying to stay up till 9PM to fix my sleep schedule, all that’s on TV is “Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets” (2002). Chamber of Secrets is one of my favorites in the series but it’s been about 6 years since I actually sat and watched this movie. I never realized how fucking dangerous quidditch really is.

Not to sound soft but the Bludgers blow clear through the fan stands, a broom, and nearly about 300 people’s heads. All of that and these kids ain’t wearing any protective gear, not even a helmet. The Keepers have a leather helmet like it’s 1920’s NFL other than that, nothin’. If you get blindsided by a Bludger, say goodbye to your head because it’s watering the field below. You think Draco’s soft head would have survived that?

Would that be in the insurance that you’d have to sign with the school? Like there’s a literal clause that says “Can’t sue if a limb/extremity gets obliterated while playing in/attending a quidditch match”.”

The headmasters really said, “fuck it, magic will heal ’em”.

Once again, it’s been a while since I’ve sat down and watched a Harry Potter but I seriously don’t remember the Quidditch matches being this metal.

They just chucked some teenagers on brooms with some iron-flying balls. Metal as fuck. Well I mean, it’s a magical world where dragons exist and Rupert Grant dates Emma Wattson (sorry bro) so anything is possible.


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