Kate McKinnon is my Idol

Last night was the Golden Globes and I am not someone who knows shit about movies so I did not watch, I caught the Twitter highlights.

I just caught Kate McKinnon’s speech and I am in tears.

As you may or may not know I am bi (I’ve brought it up a few times, a big one was here) and it is something that I’ve known forever but am finally okay with actually putting into the world. There is a weird limbo I walk with being really proud of who I am and then the other side of wishing I could hide that fact deep down in a cave for no one to know. Listen, I’m honest about my internalized homophobia, deal with it.

Anyway.

So tonight when Kate McKinnon talked about the influence of Ellen DeGeneres on her own experiences with realizing she was not straight, it hit really close to home with me. As someone who is not straight (obvs) and also grew up watching Ellen, I know exactly what Kate is talking about when she says “the only thing that made [being LGBT+] less scary was seeing Ellen on TV”.

If you’re someone that hasn’t had to go through the realization that you’re not straight, then you might not see what a big deal it was to have Ellen on TV every day after school. Even within the past few years, having Kate McKinnon on SNL has been just a symbol of hope.

This is why LGBT+ representation in TV matters, it’s a normal part of life. For kids like me who kept it all hidden for years and felt so alone, those characters and actors gave us someone to look to and say “fuck maybe I can be okay one day”. (This is why you have to stop killing gay characters but I’ll get to that later).

There is nothing wrong with being LGBT+ but when you’re told that you’re different and people cast you in a bad light because of it, it wears you down until you just explode. These people, such as Ellen and Kate McKinnon, give the closeted kids (and even me now, on a bad day) hope that when someone says “you can do anything you want in life” that they won’t be stopped because they’re gay or trans. It’s a hope that when they say anything, they mean anything.

It’s a hope that gives life. Kate McKinnon concluded her speech tonight with “Thank you, Ellen, for giving me a shot, a shot at a good life.”

ANYWAY, I’ve rambled again but Kate McKinnon is my idol, I’m still emotional, and I would die for her. Stop killing the gays, goodnight folks.


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