SEC Championship: If You Don’t Take The Underdog You’re A Bozo

The Georgia Bulldogs are the underdogs in this game at +7. That means Vegas experts thinks they are going to lose by 7 points for you novice gamblers out there. But fuck them, that’s not the underdog I’m talking about.

To me this game is about one thing, and one thing only: Ed Fucking Orgeron.  That’s his actual middle name, google it.  If you don’t follow college football closely, Ed Orgeron is the underdog America needs.  In the last decade he was the interim head coach at Ole Miss, didn’t get the full time job.  Then again interim head coach at USC, didn’t get the full time job.  Then in 2016, the stars aligned while he was defensive line coach at LSU, and that crazy grass-eating, coffee drinking bastard Les Miles was fired. Coach O got his chance to take the helm at none other than his home state team, The Louisiana State University Tigers,  and this time he got the full time job.

If you had to create a character of who the head coach of the LSU football team should be you couldn’t come up with a closer match than Coach O. He is a Cajun who grew up on Bayou Lafourche in Lafourche fucking Parish, Louisiana.  I mean who can write that shit?  Bottom line is this guy got tossed around and denied jobs across the country only to persevere and wind up turning his hometown program into a national powerhouse. There isn’t a more lovable Coach or human in college football IMHO. He is like Rudy, if Rudy went on to coach and was never actually offsides.  He’s like Lotso-huggin Bear if Lotso had a wicked Cajun accent and didn’t turn out to be a dick.

Coach O and the LSU tigers are not going to lose this game.  There is now way.  We’ve got a classic “It’s about Jimmys and Joes, not X’s and O’s” situation on our hands.  So now that we’ve established who is going to win this game and why, here comes Jaco the stats machine dropping some knowledge on ya:

Since 2000 there have only been three (3!) SEC championship games that have been decided by one score or less (thanks alot Bama for tearing everyone a new ass every year).  In those three games guess which teams were involved in each game?  That’s right, LSU beating Tennessee in ’07, and Georgia losing to Bama in ’12 and ’18.  As the great Stu Feiner says, “If you’re uncomfortable with a bet, it’s probably a good bet.”  So I think this game is going to break the mold and be a one score game, I think even just a field goal.

Additionally, in the combined 7 games these teams played against ranked opponents this season, 6 of 7 were decided by 1 score or less.  Now we have already established that LSU is definitely going to win, probably by a field goal, so with the over/under currently at 57  I guess I am predicting LSU taking the crown by a score of 30-27.

via Giphy

PS: Joe Burreaux is good and Jake Fromm peaked in high school. Take the Tigers Moneyline. Geaux Tigers.

PPS:  How fucking freaky is that SEC championship trophy?  They may want to go back to the drawing board on this one. Im not here to judge, but it looks like it was modeled after an “Eyes Wide Shut” party or some sort of new age Human Centipede.

via Giphy

T: @fasthandshams

T: @ham_sports

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