Big XII Championship: Who will take home the Crystal Bedpan?

After roughly 6 months in the upside-down I, Jaco Hams, am back and reporting for duty at Ham-Sports dot com.

via Giphy











That being said let’s get nuts for CFB championship weekend.  This blog is for all you hungover pieces of shit just laying in bed, scrolling through twitter and realizing “O shit, the Big 12 championship already started.”  I am one of those pieces of shit, which is why this blog will be posted sometime during the first half depending on the severity of my morning shits.

I am an expert in Big 12 football.  And by expert, I mean it’s the power 5 conference I pay the least amount of attention to because every year it’s the same, time is a flat circle, bullshit.  Is Texas back? Nope.  Does the Big 12 get enough respect?  Yes, an adequate amount for their mediocrity I’d say.  The Big 12 is that guy in your friend group who brings around one of their new friends once every two years, tries to get them to be in the group, and it never works out.  The guy always sucks and spirals the group into turmoil. And in that process, a few of the original members of the group say “fuck this new guy, I’m leaving for another friend group.”  It’s a fun reality show to watch, but terrible to be a part of and no-one really respects you anyway. (I’m like 75% sure this analogy makes sense but whatever, bear with me, no pun intended).

So here is my expert analysis for this matchup between Oklahoma (6) and Baylor (7):

Oklahoma is good every year, Baylor is good every 6 years, and you always bet the over no matter which two big 12 teams are squaring up.  That’s it.  That’s all you have to know about this game.

P.S.  Since the game already started hammer the second half over.  Don’t even look at it, just do it. And count on Oklahoma to take home the coveted Crystal Bedpan (c).Big_12_Trophy_Crystal_Bedpan

T: @fasthandshams

T: @ham_sports

Featured Image: via FloSports

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